Confessions of a newbie mother: Looking back....

over my shoulder. I do that often these days. An what a beautiful sight I'm hit with: My son playing on his mat.

I would like to sum up 2011 in two words: blissfully difficult. It doesn't really make any sense, but that's whats this whole year has been about. Nothing made sense. Being sick for the whole pregnancy didn't make sense. Having a mild depression when the little one came didn't make sense. The little one didn't make sense. A rather difficult time.

In the midst of it all there were tiny moments that made the shady grey turn to bright pink. It was a moment of bliss. At first, I felt it just for a second so I easily brushed it away by going back to my loop of dark thoughts. Then gradually seconds turned into minutes, turning into hours.

Looking back over my shoulder and I spot the little one. I smile and hopefully will keep on smiling in 2012.

Confessions - The kid thing

I wrote this really heartfelt long post about my first couple of weeks as a mother, but instead of my rambling (and the fact that I'm too tired to proofread) I'll leave you with a quote from the movie "The Back-Up Plan" instead (which was really crappy by the way):

Stan: What's it like, the whole kid thing?
Playground Dad: It's awful, awful, awful.
Then a small moment happens, that's so magical. that makes it all worthwhile.

Confessions of a pregnant woman - week 40: The art of waiting

I really haven't perfected the art of waiting. Think I'm slightly going mad!

Travel bug

It's that time of year when my notebooks are usually full of to-do list, to-buy list and etc, when my bedroom has been turned upside down due to packing or repacking, when traveling books are spread around the floor, open pages of some exciting destination, and where my hubby is reassuring me that we have all the necessary documents such as passport, hotel confirmation and etc. Instead, my hubby is cleaning the bathroom, setting up extra shelves for baby products and I'm am playing the "perfect" housewife and preparing him lunch.

Around this time last year, we had already drawn our credit cards in three different countries. This year the closest thing I've ever come to crossing the Norwegian border is doing some baby shopping in our neighboring country Sweden, which is about an hour away with car.

For someone who religiously loves traveling, it's a bit of an understatement to say how difficult it is for me to stay at home this summer. The itch is definitely present. Unfortunately I can't do anything about it at the moment, but wait until it passes.

I am however venturing out on a different adventure this year which makes it all worth it. Priorities eventually change and right now I need to focus on something much more important that my monthly visit from the travel bug.

But I will certainly be welcoming this type of bug every month and I'm hoping the baby will catch it too. No need for medical treatments here.

Last year's summer destination: Roadtrip in California

Confessions of a pregnant woman - week 38: Still waiting

❤ Preparing and waiting ❤

Confessions of a pregnant woman - week 36: Preparations

Less than four weeks to go. The last couple of weeks hubby and I have been shopping necessities for the baby. We still lack a couple of things, but I will make some time early next week to do some final shopping. I haven't had a good night's sleep for several weeks now, but I still feel way better as I stopped throwing up and the dizziness has finally let go (never thought that would happen). And I guess there's not much to do left than playing the waiting game....

I know I look really tired in this pic. Lack of sleep:-(

Confessions of a pregnant woman - week 34: Waiting for YOU

6 weeks to go (well give or take a couple of weeks). I've finally managed to hold my food for more than one day, which is an amazing feeling. I did throw up today, but it's been a couple of days since the last time so it's really a luxury. The dizziness is still lingering around and I basically need a rest in bed every second hour,  but I think I'm starting to feel it...the joy of pregnancy. I suppose it has something to do with the fact that I'm really excited to meet the little one.

We spent the last couple of days buying baby equipments and clothes, which has been pretty exhausting. And guess what, we are still not done. I haven't been sleeping very well so you could say it's been an extra toll on me. Nevertheless it's all taking shape and I guess everything is well worth it in the end.

Some days I feel like this:

Sweater from Gina Tricot, Jeans from Topshop

Other days like this:

But mostly I'm just looking ahead:

Someone else is looking forward to meeting the little guy too: 

Hubby signed the guestbook at Lindesnes, including the baby's name.

Confessions of a pregnant woman - week 30: Wardrobe dillemma

10 weeks to go. Some periods it felt like time stood still, but luckily it hasn't :-) However the further I get, the heavier I become. I've never carried so much weight before and I can feel it in my legs, back and etc. And the more weight I gain, the more difficult it is to find something to wear. It's weird how they only sell tunikas and such in the maternity department. It's like there is this hidden agenda where retailers suddenly want you to become "sugary hippie sweet" because you have a bump. Well, I've never been a tunika person so you could say that I'm having a bit of fit at the moment.  So my maternity wardrobe mostly consist of oversized clothing: plain said, normal clothes just in bigger size.

Here is a pic of me on one of my very few outings where hubby manage to kodak the moment:

Ballerina flats from DIn Sko, chinos from Topshop, top from Zara, blazer from DKNY, scarf from H&M and bag from Mulberry.

Easter in the sun

The weather last week was truly amazing. Healthwise I'm in dire need of a lie-in every hour or so, but I didn't want that to stop me from being out in the sun. Luckily my husband has been by my side taking me on mini road trips and making sure that I get my much needed breaks. A wonderful and relaxing Easter break.

Balcony has been in good use. I know I've been living in my maxi dress lately, but so comfy.

Mini road trip to Drøbak

My needed break

Mini road trip to Huk

Huk

Family bonding

And visiting the cutest baby: CJ

Spring fling

From bedroom lounging....

To balcony viewing...

Maxi dress from H&M, sunnies from Mango and rings from Indiska.

Confessions of a pregnant woman - week 28: Final leg, 3rd trimester

Maxi dress from Bikbok

The final leg. It's like running a marathon (or so I imagine). Every muscle in your body hurts and you just want to give up, but as you come up to the final mile you somehow find the strength to keep on going.  I'm pretty much right up to this point. But enough said about the struggle. I have given it enough space as it is and positivity is my main motto these days.

The sun is more eager these days and I can finally step outside the door without being afraid of sliding on the ice. For a while there I walked the streets like a penguin. Now I just walk like an elephant, bigger but steadier steps. It may not seem like it, but it is a vast improvement from the penguin walk. On another account, the sun is also actually enabling me to enjoy some fresh air even on the days where I can't get out of the apartment. Post noon you can usually see me dragging myself out on the balcony with my big steady steps, slightly moving from side to side due to dizziness, and lounging myself on one of the chairs. An added bonus is if the baby starts kicking, then you see me lounging on one of the chairs with a big smile on my face. And lastly you might catch me lounging in this pretty dress soon:

Maternity dress from asos,com on sale:-)

It's a baby's world

We were suppose to venture out on a little roadtrip to Gothenburg last weekend to buy things for the baby. It's meant to be a lot cheaper there. Unfortunately we had to cancel it because I was feeling terribly ill, more than usual. I don't even know why we thought about it actually because the longest trips I've made lately is a 15 minute tram ride to the city.

But enough rambling, I thought I would share some of the baby stuff that I have managed to gather in the last six months. Not much, but it's a start. I don't want to purchase too many clothes before the baby is born because apparently they grow out of it so quickly. And moreover we are planning to have a baby shower so hoping people are generous.

Confessions of a pregnant woman - week 25

The joys of being pregnant has kind of been overshadowed with constant sickness, but it is all worth it really. There is this tiny little thing growing inside me and he is a quite a show stealer. I literally almost drop everything at hand when he starts kicking. With this kind of performance every day, no wonder I can't stop smiling.

It also helps with a bit of sunshine

Confessions of a pregnant woman - 23 weeks

I have come to terms with the known fact that I will be spending a lot of time in my apartment for the rest of my pregnant state. As my doctor pointed out, I'm still not getting any better. It's still very exhausting, but looking on the bright side, I know it's temporarily. With every tiny movement that's happening in my stomach, it's becoming more evident that life is growing in there. This can brighten any difficult day.

On the emotional plan I'm still a bit of a wreck, and getting worse every day. I lie awake most of the night due to back pains and that's when things hit me. I'm having baby. Me and my husband will be responsible for another human being. So many questions derive from that. I don't even know where to start. We have been discussing everything from serious matters like savings for our future child to more trivial conversations like the color of the stroller. It's overwhelming, or truthfully really scary, hence me walking around the apartment looking like I wreck. On the verge of becoming an adult, last week I sought comfort in a childhood game, playing dress up. With makeup and heels on I felt ready to take on the world, although the heels went off after five minutes and the rest of the afternoon was spent in bed.

Dress from H&M

14.02.11 - All dressed up and nowhere to go

I did manage to get out last weekend. Even got dressed up a bit though my outing was cut short due to back pains and nausea.

The maternity dress from Topshop

With my cousin, aka lilsis, who is also preggy

04.02.11 - Unplugged

Adele, Robyn and Eva & The Heartmaker are my favorite artists at the moment. All three of them are performing in the nearest future. Unfortunately, due to my condition, I can't really plan anything that far ahead, meaning I can't buy the tickets now. I suppose I'll just have to enjoy their performances at home.

31.01.11 - Weekend getaway

I see I've messed up the date on my last post. Looks like I'm still back in 2010. Oh well it's difficult to get everything right these days.

Ok that was quite random, but my head works that way nowadays so excuse me for my messy post. There is unfortunately no change in my health. I'm still feeling really poor, but I guess I'm used to it now. It's kind of my everyday life. I know it's only temporarily and that's how I cope with it (well at least, that's how I'm coping with it today).

My friend Ingrid convinced me to go away with her and her boyfriend for for the weekend. They wanted to rent a lodge in the mountains and asked Vidar and I to come along. I was a bit hesitant, but I'm so glad that we went. Although I mostly stayed in and didn't join them for cross country skiing, it was still great to get away from the bed/sofa at home. The sofa in the lodging was quite comfortable as well and with a much better view. I'm totally exhausted today, but it was definitely well worth it.

From one of their outings

The view

The lodge

Ingrid, Vidar and Synnøve

The comfortable sofa

23.01.10 - Light up my life

It's been an exhausting week for me. Been back and forward to the doctor's for check ups and so on. Who would have thought that so many discomforts and pains could derive from pregnancy. Well I suppose I'm one of those unlucky ones.

Already by Wednesday, I was hysterical, nearly crying my eyes out. But thanks to some really amazing people in my life, I made it through. I'm so blessed to have great friends and a wonderful husband who will put up with me even when I'm at my lowest. Oh and thanks for the talks and the lovely gifts.

Lovely treats from Sara and Michael

Beautiful flowers from Katerina.