Nearly four months ago I was lying on the hospital bed begging for the midwife for a cesarean section. The little one had just popped his head out, eager to discover this new world. I barely noticed his debut as I was so exhausted from all the pain and the physical strain. I just basically wanted it done and over with, hence me yelling out for the easiest way out (though a bit too late). Who would have guessed that this experience would be the easiest part of becoming a newbie mother.
Needless to say, my road to baby world has been quite bumpy, being sick for 8 out of 9 months of my pregnancy. However, I thought it would be bearable once I had the little one in my arms. That I would feel total bliss and forget all the pain. Truth be told, the first couple of months of baby world has been the hardest part. Again, don't want to bore you with the details, but there has been days where I barely can see because of my puffy eyes. And the exhaustion I felt while giving birth, heaven compared to the exhaustion I've felt during the first couple of months of baby world. Mentally I was in bits and pieces, but trying to hold up for the little one and my hubby. Admitably I had to confess to hubby and to myself that I just wasn't feeling the bliss. I was struggling....
Four months into the game and bliss decided to show up. Not everyday of course, but I've felt it creeping up to the surface when the little one smiles or every morning when he is making "conversation". Some mothers say that it gets easier just around this period. Golden moments, until it gets hard again round about the age of 2. I probably will not be prepared for that to come. At least I can be honest, admit to myself and everyone else that sometimes it's a struggle.
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| Bliss mixed with a tad bit of exhaustion |
